Cameroonians say the darndest things...

So I have been told some pretty funny things by Cameroonians. I want to write them down and share them before I start to forget.

• After getting off the phone with Emma, my post mate, the person sitting next to me said: "Was that English? It did not sound like it. You don't know English. You really need to learn it."
• My neighbor Amanda while holding my cat and talking to him:  "You would make such a good dinner! We need to fatten you up!"
• At the bar with Amanda and this crazy man asks me: "Are there people like you in America? Big, huge, fat people like you?"
• Creepy guy comes over to my house as I was preparing to leave for the weekend...I no longer talk to this person or allow him to come inside my concession: "You travel too much. I need to put a collar around your neck and lock you to your couch so you can't leave."
• On the back of a motorcycle and the driver tells me in Fufulde: "I want you. I want to have your white babies."
• After leaving a restaurant while wearing my traditional outfit a man approaches Emma: "How much can I buy your friend for?"
• My friend grabs my stomach after not seeing me because I was on vacation: "Danielle, you got fat." 
• At someone's house: "Greet my friend on the phone...(once I hand the phone back over she tells her friend) I am with a white right now. Ya! She is sitting on my couch."

People like to tell you that you have gotten fatter when you have been away, even if it isn't true whatsoever! You just have to laugh. These are just a few things that I have been told that I can actually remember.